Little House, Little House au Prairie

News from Minny-ah--polish:

The Guthrie Theatre is producing a musical version of Minnesotan Laura Engels Wilder's LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. This sent Himself spinning in two different directions: the first was his own version:

(Sung to the tune of "I'm calm" from A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM:)

MARY:
"I'm blind, I'm blind, I'm totally blind! I run into cows all the time--
Some others can see me, but darkness won't free me--yecch! Swine!
Pa-pah, pa-pah, go get my ma-mah and fetch me a dog and a cane;
My life's hit a coda here in Minnesota--what pain!"

or perhaps:

(Sung to the tune of the opening number of LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS:)

Chorus of chilly townspeople, as a little child, wearing Ray Charles Ray-bans, runs through sunflowers:

"Little house, little house au prairie
Eek! a mouse! Little House au prairie
Get deloused--Little House au prairie
No--oh-oh-oh!"

Considering that LITTLE HOUSE--which was the poster child for "family viewing" back in the day--features one disaster after another, it would seem to be perfect for grand opera, not a musical.

But lots of others are:

GEEK!
The musical version of THE BIG BANG THEORY

EAT THIS!
The musical version of Alton Brown's GOOD EATS

MY FAIR VOYEUR
The musical version of BIG BROTHER

BIGOT!
The musical version of ALL IN THE FAMILY and THE JEFFERSONS combined

and (drum roll please). . .

The one which I would go to Minneapolis to see. . .

WIPEOUT! The Musical